There Is So Much To Say

WOW.

I leave in four days. I will be getting on a plane in FOUR DAYS.

AH! I can't believe this is happening. I'm excited, fo' sho', but I'm also anxious (which is to be expected). More than anything else, though, I have a mental check list of everything that needs to be done. I have to go to the bank, Lens Crafters, Creekside, Reinhardt, Old Navy, I would like to go to my high school one last time, blah, blah, and more blah. AH! AAAHHH!!!

Yesterday was my last day at Old Navy. It was a good day. I was hoping to go out with a bang, but I didn't go out with as big of a bang as I was hoping. I went out with a ... pop, I guess. I did cry on my way out and I had to go to the fitting room to recollect myself twice. Old Navy in Cumming has been so good to me, and I wish I could show everyone there how much they mean to me and how much I appreciate their generosity, kindness, support....

Then today was church, and Pastor Jason and Ric commissioned me. Did I spell commissioned correctly?? And I saw a lot of people for the last time for a year.... I didn't get to say goodbye to everyone like I had hoped, but no matter. I will see them later, most likely.

Then there was a final family gathering this afternoon. My grandparents had me over for a Sunday dinner. It was nice. I'm looking forward to seeing them at Christmas...via Skype (because I'm not coming home)...and sharing with them all of the cool stuff I've seen and done and experienced. I'm also looking forward to sharing with them selected stories of horror and dismay at what kinds of things I've seen and had to do.

I continue to think more and more about this experience. I don't know what to expect anymore. I have ideas of what I would like to experience, but I have no idea what I'm going to actually do and see and learn. I want to go to England with little agenda, and I want God to take a strong hold of my mind and heart and do what He will. I want to leave England with clarity and confidence, and a stronger understanding of God's will for my life, what is and what is not right, and what is simply okay with God (neither right nor wrong). Mostly, though, I just want to meet people and learn from them and impart some amount of compassion. I'd rather not go to Yeldall Manor with the idea of changing lives and squelching the darkness that has grown within them; I would rather go to Yeldall Manor and help the residents change themselves, and help them see the light within themselves, and encourange them to make their light brighter. I can't make the darkness go away, but I can encourage them to make their own light shine...which, in turn, makes the darkness go away.

Does that make sense?

Here's a thought that I had in church: if women and femininity were prefered in Biblical times and in the society/culture that was in place during the time when the stories and occurances and events took place, would Jesus be a woman?

I would like to know your thoughts on the above question....